Nursing Through Pregnancy: An Unexpected Bonus

We are running a series on tandem nursing this month on our blog and have recruited stories from great moms across the globe! You will hear stories about nursing while pregnant, challenges of tandem nursing and the joys of nurturing your babies. Our third story comes from Carla Molina Martins. Read on to share in her story of breastfeeding while pregnant.

by Carla Molina Martins

My husband and I are one of those couples who knew immediately after our first born arrived that another baby was in our near future. Dessa arrived in the summer of 2007 and we decided in all fairness to her, we’d wait a year to try and get pregnant again. We reasoned it would give us a good year and then some to devote solely to her, to really get to know her. When we got pregnant with our second baby, I was surprised at how many of my emotions centered around Dessa and not the new baby in my belly.

One of my biggest concerns when I got pregnant again was if Dessa would continue to breastfeed. When I got pregnant, she was over a year old and still nursing a lot, mainly in the evenings. I’ve loved breastfeeding since the beginning and it broke my heart to think our decision to get pregnant so soon was going to rob her of such special bonding. I did research and spoke with my midwife; everything told me one of four things might happen – a. the change in my hormones would alter the taste of my milk to a flavor my daughter might not like and, as a result, gradually wean herself off or b. her natural instinct to wean would just happen to coincide with my pregnancy or c. the change in hormones in my body might cause me to stop producing milk or d. if I were really lucky, my daughter would just keep at it like nothing.

As optimisitc as I am, I was sure my pregnancy would lead to an abrupt, unnatural end to Dessa’s breastfeeding days. Despite my instincts, I kept on nursing on demand. We hit the 14 week mark – still breastfeeding. We hit 24 weeks – still going strong; 30 weeks – still loving the boob. Don’t ask me why but I still didn’t believe I’d make it all the way to the end of my pregnancy successfully breastfeeding. Now I’m 39 weeks and still nursing our first born. She doesn’t nurse quite as often or for quite as long but we still have our quiet, snuggly moments together.

The key to my lasting breastfeeding relationship with Dessa is based on three components – faith, mutual desire and a great support system.

I had complete faith in what my body could do and faith that Dessa would let me know if she still wanted to nurse. Even though I had anticipated not going all the way, I stayed positive; I’m a firm believer that your attitude towards breastfeeding makes a world of difference. Mutual desire was also a key factor because we both want to keep doing it. If at any moment Dessa or I didn’t want to nurse anymore, then we’d stop.

A solid support system is essential at any stage of breastfeeding – if you’ve got one little one, twins or one in arms and one in your belly – having folks who support you is priceless.

I have my husband, our families and amazing friends who all believe in the value of what I’m doing. For every weird look I get for mentioning I’m still nursing a 22 month old, I know I’ve got at least 3 people who think what I’m doing is awesome.

If you’re thinking about getting pregnant with your next child and are still nursing your first, keep my story in mind. I’m just one example of what’s possible. I know not everyone wants to nurse through a pregnancy so if you don’t want to, be sure to look for resources on how and when to best wean your first child. If you’ve been able to nurse your first child, then you’ve already given them a great gift. Nursing through a pregnancy is just a nice bonus for mom and baby.

Carla Molina Martins is a mom to one with one on the way! She blogs at Mama Hearts Baby and The Mami Diaries.

Have you nursed while pregnant? Do you have questions that Carla or our other guest bloggers can answer?? Please share your experiences and post your questions here!

Tandem Nursing: Taking Care Of Mom Is Key!

We are running a series on tandem nursing this month on our blog and have recruited stories from great moms across the globe! You will hear stories about nursing while pregnant, challenges of tandem nursing and the joys of nurturing your babies. Our second story comes from Perceval. Taking care of mom is important for any new mom who has just given birth – but taking care of yourself when tandem nursing is doubly-important – read on to share in Perceval’s story.

by Perceval

I have two children, a son aged 14 months and a daughter aged 3 years 9 months. I tandem nurse because it’s what my children need and because I am happy to do so. Simple in theory, but a bit more complicated in practice.

It started getting complicated when I was pregnant. At that time, my daughter, then barely two, was still nursing enthusiastically. At first, I was still fine with it, but after a while, her nursing began to become excruciating. This meant that I had to limit her to two feeds a day, one in the morning, and one in the evening, counting her out to ten at each breast. I slowed down or speeded up the counting depending on how much it hurt. Nursing was particularly painful on the right side, because my daughter had latched on very badly on that side the day she was born. In fact, I had a small bruise from her enthusiastic sucking. From that time onwards, feeding on the left was always easier than feeding on the right. During pregnancy, I also more or less stopped nursing her in public.

Not everybody approved of nursing through pregnancy – my parents warned me that she would become jealous of the new baby nursing, the midwife and my Shiatsu therapist suggested stopping, but I was defiant. Nursing was something my child still needed, and we were both happy with the limits I had set. I was irrationally touchy about this, and continued to be irrationally touchy about negative tandem nursing comments well after my son was born. I had read Hilary Flowers’ Adventures in Tandem Nursing, which prepared me well for any arguments.

In the run up until the birth, I became frightened that my nipples would keep hurting and interfere with feeding the newborn, but commenters from the Livejournal breastfeeding community reassured me.

In fact, the pain was gone the day I gave birth – feeding my son did not hurt at all. Even better, I was now equally able to nurse from both breasts. Fantastic! During pregnancy, I had been fantasizing about feeding both children at the same time, trying some of the interesting positions in Hilary Flowers’ book, Adventures in Tandem Nursing. But this was not to be.

For my daughter, nursing is a special time where she can cuddle with mummy, getting both physical and emotional nutrition.

So I was feeding both kids in shifts. Early on, I established some ground rules: My daughter could nurse in the morning and at night, my son had unlimited access to the breast, since he was the baby and needed the nutrition. I soon learned to try and feed my son before my daughter, because she was expert at draining my breasts, and would not rest until she had done so. Engorgement and letdown were never a problem. My son thrived and put on weight exactly as he was meant to, straight on the curve.

What I underestimated was the toll on myself. I had a severe episode of baby blues shortly after my son was born, which was helped enormously by supplements and time. I lost a lot of weight, going below my pre-pregnancy weight. Then, I started to do bits and pieces for work. And my son kept waking a couple of times per night (he still does). My daughter started waking in the early morning for a nurse. As my son turned one, I finally realized I had come down with post-natal depression.

Did tandem nursing cause my depression? No, but it was one more stress on my system that was depleting me of vital nutrients. I had underestimated the need for excellent nutrition and sufficient rest.

Am I still tandem nursing? You bet. Both my children still need and want to nurse, and I am still happy to give them what they need. But I am much better at taking care of myself in the process. And I do like all the extra pieces of cake I can still eat

Perceval is an academic at a Scottish University. She’s happily married with two wonderful children, a 3-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son. She blogs and comments in the blogosphere pseudonymously.

Have you tandem nursed? Have you dealt with post-partum depression? We’d love to hear your story. Please leave a comment below!

The photo featured in this post is from the Wikimedia Commons.
Commons is a freely licensed media file repository.

Tandem Nursing – Radical Or Just Another Form Of Mothering?

We are running a series on tandem nursing this month on our blog and have recruited stories from great moms across the globe! You will hear stories about nursing while pregnant, challenges of tandem nursing and the joys of nurturing your babies. Our first story comes from A Mother In Israel, read on to hear her thoughts and share in her journey.

By Hannah Katsman

Tandem nursing is a radical in our society. Just try telling someone that you are going to nurse while you are pregnant, and plan to continue after the new baby is born. But moms don’t tandem nurse to make a statement. They do it because their child is not ready to wean.

Tandem nursing is really a combination of two separate issues, toddler nursing and juggling the needs of small children. If nursing your toddler is important to you, the tandem part will work itself out. Nursing is only one more thing to coordinate when a younger sibling is born.

I became pregnant with my sixth child when my fifth was 21 months old. Although nursing during pregnancy had been painful for me in the past, I found it comfortable this time and decided to continue. Toddler nursing was already the norm in my family. We cut back to one or two short feedings during the day because lowered milk supply made long sessions irritating for me. During this time my son ate much more solid food. So nursing can still provide a significant amount of calories even for a two-year-old.
Some issues related to tandem nursing:

• Flexibility. Your feelings about tandem nursing may change, and the option to wean is always there. As with all weaning decisions, take a few days to be sure, and think about whether cutting back is an option. Many toddlers wean on their own during pregnancy or after birth because of changes in milk supply or taste or just because they are done.
  

  Weaning can bring on a wide range of feelings from sadness to relief. All are legitimate, and can be exaggerated by hormonal adjustments associated with weaning, pregnancy, and birth.

• Resources. La Leche League International, including its website, support groups, and Hilary Flower’s book Adventures in Tandem Nursing, is the best source for information on nursing during pregnancy and afterward. Two other helpful books are Norma Bumgarner’s Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson.
  

  Flower’s book addresses safety and nutritional concerns and shares practical advice from a wide range of mothers’ experiences.

• Nursing Two Takes Time. Juggling a toddler or preschooler and a newborn is always challenging, but a commitment to nursing two can limit your ability to get other things done. If you find it overwhelming, think about cutting back the amount or frequency of the toddler’s nursing, or make other changes to simplify your life. Continuing to nurse both freely is also okay if it works for you. Despite what some books say, it’s normal for two and three-year-olds to nurse frequently.
  

  My favorite line from Flower’s book is by a mother who said that on a good day her husband arrived to find the house a mess, the baby asleep, the toddler in the bath, and dinner half-cooked on the stove. On a bad day she and the kids were all crying. I don’t remember it being that bad every day but her experience rings true.

• Newborns, Colostrum, and Milk Supply. At some point in mid-pregnancy the breasts begin to make colostrum, the small quantity of antibody-rich milk that newborns eat in the first days of life. For the first few days after birth some mothers are careful to give the newborn priority in nursing. I’m not sure this is necessary, as colostrum is always being produced on the basis of supply and demand. Once you are sure the newborn is gaining well there is no reason to be more concerned about milk supply than with a nursing singleton.
  At first I worried when my two-year-old nursed so much that he almost completely stopped eating solids. How could I make enough milk for both? Eventually I realized that the baby was growing and would let me know if she was hungry. My breasts produced milk according to the children’s needs. Since my son wasn’t getting fat, the milk quantity had probably maxed out. It was okay.
• Close Pregnancies. Because breastfeeding is so important for a younger baby, nursing mothers with close pregnancies can be especially reluctant to wean. Since some pregnant mothers experience lowered milk supply in the second trimester, it’s important to keep track of baby’s weight and supplement if necessary.
  

  Mothers with close pregnancies need lots of help and support whether or not they are tandem nursing.

• Safety Concerns. No studies show an increased risk of miscarriage or preterm labor when breastfeeding during a normal pregnancy. Mothers are sometimes advised to wean when a pregnancy is at risk. Because some pregnancies end whether or not a mother is nursing, she needs to think how she will feel about the weaning if this happens.
  

  All pregnant women should eat properly and gain an appropriate amount of weight.

Tandem nursing is one of the most challenging things I have ever done, but it was worth it. Feel free to leave questions in the comments. Thank you, Judy, for inviting me to post here.

Hannah Katsman blogs at A Mother in Israel about parenting issues, women in Judaism, and Israeli life. A mother of six children aged 5 to 19, she moved to Israel from the US in 1990 and has worked as a volunteer breastfeeding counselor for nine years. She writes an ongoing series on breastfeeding for the Israeli environmental blog, Green Prophet. More posts on breastfeeding and parenting can be found on her own blog.

Tandem Nursing – Nurturing Multiple Children