Ask Judy: When Will My Baby Sleep Through The Night?

Dear Judy: Well, I know that every baby is different and all will finally sleep through the night whenever they’re ready, but at 6 months, my daughter is still not sleeping through the night (she did it 3 times over the course of last month, then it stopped). Various people have told me that this is because she’s not learning how to put herself back to sleep because I breastfeed her everytime she wakes up. They’ve told me that she’s conditioning herself to need the breast to get to sleep. She’s always been a big comfort nurser, it’s how I get her to bed every night, and honestly, it seems like they’re right — she won’t go back to sleep unless she breastfeeds (pacifiers, bottles of breastmilk, rocking, etc. don’t really work). She doesn’t eat much at these feedings, and they’re occurring every 3-4 hours, so I don’t think it’s a hunger issue.
I don’t want to give up opportunities to breastfeed her because I work full time and one lunch feeding plus evening/night feedings are what I have left, but if I’m creating a child that won’t sleep, that’s not good either.
It’s a big worry because she doesn’t sleep much at all during the day (seriously, this child will NOT nap), so I want to maximize the sleep she’s getting at night. Thanks, Krista

Hi Krista, Sleep is probably the “issue” with the most divergent opinions when it comes to babies. The truth is – every baby is different and every baby has different needs. Many breastfed babies wake frequently at night. You have to remember that your baby’s belly is only as large as her little fist - so even though she is six months old, she may need to eat during the night to help her get back to sleep. You might want to try waking her up a bit when she wakes up so that she gets a bigger feed and then put her back down. If she gets more in, she may stay asleep longer than if she just takes a nibble and falls back to sleep. There is a great article on babies and sleeping which you can read here.

Also, keep in mind that when doctors talk about “sleeping through the night” they mean that your baby goes for 5 hours without waking. Sleeping through the night does not mean sleeping all night long! Your baby may be “sleeping through the night” more often than you realize.

Have you considered co-sleeping? My son started sleeping through the night at age 4 weeks (yes I was VERY lucky!). When he was 4 months old, I went back to work and within 2 days of returning to work, my son started waking during the night to feed. You mentioned that you also work – so your daughter may be waking up to spend time with you. Once I started working again, my son was up all night nursing. He didn’t eat very much during the day with his caregiver and did the majority of his nursing at night. To get some sleep myself, I started co-sleeping with my son. He would go down in his own bed at 8 PM and then when he woke up at 1 AM or so, I would bring him into my bed. He would then nurse whenever he wanted and we would both get much more sleep! My husband used to tell me that he would wake up during the night – my son would be nursing away and I would be sound asleep. This worked until he was about 11 or 12 months old and he got too squirmy to sleep with – then I transitioned him back to his own bed.

You may want to try co-sleeping. You can read a great article about it here.

I’m sorry that I don’t have anything “concrete” to help you – but all I can say is YOU KNOW YOUR BABY better than anyone else – if you think this is what she needs, then it probably is. Don’t worry what others are telling you – do what is right for you and your baby.

Did you have sleep issues with your baby? How did you overcome them? Please leave a comment with any tips or tricks that worked for you!

Children’s Toothpaste And Artificial Sweetenters

I can’t remember exactly when I started brushing my son’s teeth/gums, but I believe it was sometime during the later part of his first year. I was a Gymboree Play & Music class and we used to have a “question” time as part of each class where the teacher would ask a question and all of the moms would go around the room and answer it. This week’s question was on brushing your child’s teeth. All I remember thinking was “Am I supposed to be brushing his teeth?” The thought had never occurred to me! So I went to the store, bought some “children’s toothpaste” and started the routine.

Well, my son is now four and in an effort to encourage “independence” while brushing his teeth, we have gone back to the “toddler toothpaste” which he loves. He will brush away as long as he can lap up all of the yummy berry flavored toothpaste.

One day, while he was brushing away, I was a little bored and started reading the ingredients on the back of the toothpaste container. We used the Orajel Toddler Toothpaste in the Thomas tube. I was shocked and extremely dismayed to realize that the toothpaste that my son was using – specifically designed for young children – has SACCHARIN in it! Not just any artificial sweetener, but the very one that was banned for so many years because it was determined to cause CANCER!

WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY CHOOSE TO PUT ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS IN CHILDREN’S TOOTHPASTE??

I can’t believe I have been using this toothpaste on my son’s teeth for 4 years (on and off) and never before did I even dream to CHECK THE LABEL to see if it had anything bad in it. It is DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN after all! So I went to the store and checked out all of the brands of toothpaste targeted at children – EVERY SINGLE ONE contains SACCHARIN. Recently I was in Canada and stopped in a drug store there too. I thought for sure Canada would have a ban on saccharin in children’s toothpaste, but to my dismay, they are all full of saccharin up in Canada too.

Just the other day I was at my local grocery store and asked one of the employees to help me find an organic toothpaste that was fruit flavored (I can find the mint ones, but my son hates those) and didn’t contain fluoride (because my son still swallows the toothpaste) and also was FREE OF ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS. Well, we looked all around the toothpaste aisle and the only saccharin free brands had fluoride. So this sweet girl helping us said that there were other toothpastes in the baby aisle. So we trekked over there and found that low and behold – they do exist – there were actually TWO different brands of toothpaste that were free of artificial sweeteners, artificial colors and fluoride! And they were fruit flavored too!
I let my son pick which one he wanted and he picked the JASON’S Natural Products Organic Kids’ Only toothpaste. He loves it! And I love it even more because it is free of all of the hazards that most companies are putting into products targeted at children!

Here is the description:

* Kids Only!
* Wheat and Gluten Free
* Sulfate, fluoride and Saccharin Free
* No Artificial Colors or Flavors

Jason Kid’s Only! Toothpaste delivers fun fruity freshness and an easy to squeeze tube. Delicious Natural Orange flavor keeps the kids coming back for more. Calcium Carbonate keeps teeth clean and healthy.

When was the last time you looked at your children’s toothpaste? Have you found other resources for healthy alternatives to the ‘big name’ brands?? Please share them by leaving a comment on this post.

Working Pregnant Mama Tips

By Heather Lopez

Being that I worked through both of my pregnancies and my main business focuses on new moms and mommies to be, I felt it would be appropriate for me offer up some tips for managing your pregnancy and your job.

Tip #1: Wear comfortable, flat shoes

Sometimes when us women go to work, we want to wear dress shoes with a heel. Even if you are used to heels, you will not be used to them when you are pregnant. Your feet will swell and can even get permanently bigger, so you might consider purchasing the wide version of a shoe or even one size larger. When your feet swell and you are carrying around all of that weight, you’ll appreciate having a comfy pair of flats for your tootsies. Additionally, when your pregnant body expands, you lose your equilibrium, causing you to lose your balance more easily. I remember once that I wore a low heel while pregnant & I slipped and fell on the ground. You should’ve seen me struggling to get up with my huge belly. Believe me, it wasn’t pretty.

Tip #2: Pack a Snack

Eating several small, healthy snacks throughout the day, helps you to maintain your blood glucose level. You will avoid an energy crash and you will not feel hunger pangs. It’s good to pack some crackers for nausea, carrot sticks & celery make a good treat, sometimes a fruit & nut mix are filling and delicious, and let’s not forget about water. You should drink several glasses of water a day when you’re pregnant. Try to avoid caffeinated beverages or at least limit them to 2 cups a day.

Tip #3: Get your work clothes ready the night before

Lay them out so that they are ready for you to get up in the morning. Many women suffer from “morning sickness” and in my case “all day sickness,” so it can be really helpful to have everything ready to go when you are feeling nauseous. Plus, having things ready, means that you can sleep a little later and take more time getting ready before you go.

Tip #4: Buy Wrap Dresses

These little numbers can look professional, they are very comfortable, and they adjust to your body’s ever-changing shape. Plus, a good wrap dress can be used post pregnancy before you get back to pre-baby weight

Tip #5: Write everything down

When you are pregnant, you might find that you become very forgetful. The trick is to write everything down, so you don’t forget. Carry around a little memo book in your purse to jot down appointments, phone numbers, dates, names, etc.

Tip #6: Try to schedule appointments around work

I know what you’re thinking, “She says it like it’s so easy.” I know it’s not, but you will maintain a better appearance at work and keep on task better if you make your appointments around work. Try finding an ob/gyn open late, extra early, or on the weekends. Trust me, when you are pregnant you will be attending a lot of appointments, especially toward the end, and you do not want to be perceived as slacking. In an ideal world, your boss would understand, but in the real world, you need to show your commitment to your job by trying to maintain your schedule as best as possible. Even if you work for yourself, you still have a boss- your customers and clients.

Tip #7: Do Some Extreme Advance Planning

Many jobs provide for unpaid family leave if you have worked at your job for a year and worked at least 1200 hours. But what if you don’t qualify? You need to discuss your impending birth with your boss to try to keep your job when you return to work. Can you afford to take unpaid maternity leave? If so, more power to you. But, if you are like me, you need some kind of income to survive. Your job might be willing to offer some work from home, so that you can still do some work until you have steady childcare. Many daycare’s require babies to be at least 6 weeks old. Another way to plan for the leave is to put aside a little from each of your checks, so that you have something saved up to draw from when you aren’t working. Trust me, those first few weeks can be extremely expensive with all of the diapers, clothes, baby equipment, etc. you go through. Who am I kidding, for the next 18 years, your baby will be expensive, but hopefully you can save enough for the weeks you will be away from work. Also, you need to plan for how your work will get done while you are away. You don’t want everything to fall apart without you. You need to plan to have another worker or workers cover you until you get back. Some jobs even hire temps, so you need to find out about their policies and what you need to leave for them, such as passwords. You should also have your work e-mails forwarded to someone who will be covering for you. They can kindly respond to all inquiries on your behalf.

Tip #8: Get Shoulder Massages

Work can already be stressful and can be amplified even more when you are going through so many changes. Many people store their tension in their shoulders, and getting a shoulder massage could be quick, easy, effective, & affordable. If you’ve got a good partner, maybe they can massage your shoulders. If you prefer a professional, a simple shoulder massage can be done at a mall kiosk. If you’d like to delve into other massage, like back, and feet, you should hire a licensed massage therapist that has specialization in prenatal massage. For instance, there are actually trigger points in your feet that could lead to contractions and a specialist should have a special table with a cut-out for your stomach.

I hope that these tips have been helpful!

Heather Lopez is a 30 y/o married mom to 2 in diapers. She runs an e-zine , social network, and pamper events for new moms and mommies to be. Check out her next event Happy and Healthy MOM DAY Miami on 2/22 and find out when the next one is your area is.

5 Steps to Deepening Your Family’s Connection

By Tracy Liebmann

1. Communicate clearly, yet compassionately.

• Clearly only comes from your Authentic/True self, you need to be connected with your true self to be communicating clearly. When connected to your true self you are not acting or reacting from ego, inner child or your conditioning. You are communicating clearly because you know it is your truth!
• Compassionately means you are communicating with love and respect. You treat the other person or people the way you would want to be treated.

2. Be an active listener.

• Active listening involves fully listening to the speaker. Often we do not fully listen, we are often half listening or thinking about our reply instead of fully listening.
• Active Listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the speaker. The listener repeats, in the listeners own words, what they think the speaker has said. The listener does not have to agree with the speaker…he or she must simply state what they think the speaker said.
• This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. If the listener did not, the speaker can explain some more.

3. Trust that the other person is being honest.

• Trusting the other person (when I say people or person, I am always including children!) is doing the best that they can with what they have to work with.
• Sometimes other people will not have the same tools that you have; the best way to “teach” something is through modeling it! So practice these steps, share what you know in a respectful way and they will follow your lead.
• Trust that they will!

4. Show love in a way the other receives well.

• What I mean by this is that everyone feels loved in different ways. Some people feel loved when touched physically; with a hug or a kiss. Others like to spend time with their loved one. Some people feel loved when they receive gifts and others feel loved through verbal communication.
• If you are interested in finding out what your love language is, here is a test you can take.

5. Have FUN with one another!

• Spend time doing what the other person/people like to do.
• Often in families where people are aloud to be who they really are, there are so many different hobbies and interests it may be hard to keep up – Yet, it is important to try.
• One person may like playing video games, ask to join them, learn how to play that person’s favorite game. Others may love going to parks or playing outside, make sure to take time to do that with them…you get the picture!
• Show that you know them, show that you care about what they like!

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her!

Have The Best 2010 Possible – Tips For Moms

By Tracy Liebmann

I want you to start living the Life of your dreams! We are all amazing a divine people, who sometimes get off track or loose sight of our souls purpose. I believe every bit of change starts within us and I’d like to draw your focus back to the source that is within you.

2010 can be the first year of the rest of your life!

As Mothers we work hard 24/7…365! We care for others and sometimes forget ourselves. That strategy does not *really* benefit anyone.

“In trying to satisfy all, I may be able to satisfy none” ~Gandhi

So let’s get the focus back on our very important selves this year, it is not selfish to care for self…it is wise and necessary…especially for Mothers!! Let’s explore things we can do for ourselves as a whole divine person; let’s break it down into three very important parts!

Body ~ Mind ~ Spirit

Body

• Rest! Our bodies need a certain amount of rest to function well. I know for Mothers this can be a challenge, yet it needs to be a top priority! Sleep deprivation can have a serious negative impact on how well we are able to care for ourselves and our family!
• No excuses…look for solutions to your sleep issues and get more REST!!
• Diet/Nutrition. Let’s talk diet first, since this is the time of year that everyone thinks about the great new diet plan they will carry out in 2010. I would like to remind you to come from a place of self love when considering dieting. Dieting from a place of self hatred will never end well. You may lose the weight, but it will be back – Love yourself enough to eat well, not from hating your big butt, but from loving yourself!
• Exercise. Getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine, with your heart pumping and your lungs filling with sweet air is very important not only for your waistline but also for your brain. I will say the same thing I said above…Exercise out of love for Self, not from a place of hatred or punishment. Go out with the kids and play kick ball, take a walk or run with the stroller. Enjoy life…Enjoy your body!
• Water. Drink lots of water! That’s all I’m gonna say on that subject, you know why!
• Massage. This is not just a fabulous way to spend a Saturday afternoon. It is actually good for you. It releases toxins, and keeps your body working well from the inside out! Caring for self is a necessity, not a luxury! OK, I just have to say…I don’t care what your husband thinks (gasp)! Do it for yourself, show yourself love and nurturing…your worth it!!

Mind

How do you care for your mind? How do you “clear your head?” Caring for your mental health is *very* important and needs to be done on a daily basis!

• Quiet. Everyday find a way to quiet your mind. I know quiet is a valuable commodity for a Mother! Every valuable commodity is worth seeking right?! It can look different for everyone. Some people take 15 minutes to meditate; others may break their quiet time down to 5 minutes in morning, noon and night. Some may breathe deep, close their eyes and relax while a child is nursing. It’s all good – Find a way to quiet your mind daily!
• Support. Mothers need loving support! Find other Moms that you have a lot in common with; with similar parenting styles and plan weekly meet ups. Hire a Life Coach that has similar philosophy about family and children as you do. However and whereever you can, look for and find loving support. Again that is an act of self care and you are important enough to receive it!
• Ask For Help. We really don’t have to do it all!! We can ask for help. If you are feeling like you have no one to ask…start looking for solutions. Find a babysitter you can trust, hire a cleaning person, even ask the kids and Husband where they would be willing to help.
• Body. If you take good care of your body; getting enough rest, exercise and nutrition your mind will be functioning at its best, so revisit that subject and ask yourself what your mind needs to feel better.

Spirit

To me spirit is about heart and soul; for Mothers this is a very powerful part of the body, mind, and spirit paradigm! Taking good care, listening to and honoring our spirit is extremely important!

• Spirituality. For some this means religion and church going; for others it means we are all connected and one with source and lots of in between! So I am writing this in a general way. Honor your beliefs, even if they are different than others that are close to you. Life is an individual journey that is connected to others for the reasons of love, support and growth. Make time for yourself to honor your beliefs; go to church, join a group, meditate and/or pray. Care for your spiritual side.
• Authentic Self. *Knowing* ourselves at the deepest level and honoring who we are is especially important to feeling our best. If we are not following our inner voice or true selves we will feel unhappy and out of sorts because we are going against our highest good. Often through years of societal conditioning we lose sight of who we really are. We have lost our Authentic (true) Selves. If this is striking a cord for you, and you are feeling like; yes this is what is happening to me. Following the suggestions already mentioned here in this article will help…yet you may also desire some extra support. This is my *passion* to help women find their Authentic Selves, please e-mail me and I can send you more articles and information that will help you uncover what the layers of life have buried.

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her! To receive A Special Tool, Gifts and to be entered in a drawing to win a Coaching Package with Tracy worth over $750! Click here.

Solace In A Shower

As a mom, it is difficult to get a moment to yourself. And as a mom who runs a business, it is especially difficult because even during times that my son is sleeping or playing quietly, I am always working on my business – so getting a moment to myself is nearly impossible these days.

This is how I have found solace in taking a shower. I thought I would share it with you. I have child-proof handles on my doors, so when I go up to take my shower, I know that my son is safe – wherever he is playing. I turn on the hot water and let my mind go blank and enjoy the warm water spraying on my body – washing away all of my stress and taking me to a world that has one moment just for me. The sound of the water is very peaceful and comforting and the warmth travels throughout my entire being. I find there are days when I stay in the comfort of the shower for a long time. And I have to force myself back to reality and the day-to-day activities of my home and my business. Often this reality check comes in the form of a 4-year old who has gotten tired of playing by himself!

We each find a way to find solace in our day – please leave a comment and share your ways for relaxing and taking time for yourself.

The Holidays And Being A Breastfeeding Mom

Welcome to the Carnival of Breastfeeding for December! This month’s theme is, “Taking care of yourself during the holidays.” You can see lots of other great posts by following the links at the end of this article.

Being a breastfeeding mom during the holidays can be very stressful for some moms. You might be traveling to see family – which puts you out of your normal routine, or you might have guests coming over – which puts you in overdrive! You also might be faced with the presence of friends or family who aren’t as comfortable with your breastfeeding as you would like them to be. Below are a few tips and tricks to help you get through the next few weeks.

Traveling

If you are going to be traveling for the holidays, be sure to plan ahead. Take lots of water and healthy snacks with you and be sure to allow extra time for baby changing, taking a break to nurse and some rest room visits (after all you’ll be drinking lots of water!). Drinking water is so important. Your whole schedule is going to be out-of-sync from what you are accustomed to – so you’ll want to be sure to take good care of yourself and your little one! If you are traveling by car – bring lots of water and have it easily accessible so that you can reach it from the front seat. Bring healthy snacks like grapes, granola bars, even pack some sandwiches. Having some of your favorite foods around will make the trip more pleasant and will help you to stay nourished during your journey. If you are traveling by plane, you won’t be able to bring as much with you, but be sure to stock up in the airport so that you have plenty of snacks and liquids for your flight. Be sure to look here for more holiday travel tips.

Having Family Come Visit

If you are having family or friends come to your house for the holidays – try not to stress about it too much. You are a new mom – no one expects you to have a perfect house. Hire a cleaning service to come over and help you out or convince a friend to come and help you prepare for your guests. Try to get as much of your shopping and cooking done ahead of time so that you can enjoy your time with your visitors. Remember – this is a time to enjoy your family and friends – so be sure to take some time out for all of the fun parts of having holiday visitors!

Less Than Supportive Voices

If you think you might encounter some “less than supportive” comments about your breastfeeding during any of your holiday events – the best thing you can do it prepare yourself ahead of time. Decide now – who might say something, what might they say and how will you respond to it. If you go over the scenarios in your head before-hand, then you will be better prepared for if and when something happens. If you are traveling, look up your rights before you go. Know what the laws are of the state or country that you might be visiting. If it is a family member – go through the scenario in your head ahead of time. And if you are pleasantly surprised – embrace every moment of acceptance!!

I remember when my son was 5 months old, I was visiting my family out of state and my entire extended family was there for Christmas Eve. I was nursing my son on the sofa sitting next to my very conservative Aunt. I had a festive nursing top on – which I don’t think anyone even realized was a breastfeeding top! My aunt looked at me and said “Is he nursing?” and I answered “yes” and then she said “Well you can’t even tell!” It was about the nicest thing I could have expected her to say to me. I was so happy and relieved and it made for such a wonderful experience!

Most importantly – during all of your holiday festivities – if you are traveling or staying home or having visitors – remember that this time is about family and about enjoying yourself. So take some time away from the hustle and bustle and be sure to take a moment to just enjoy the holiday!

Do you have any great holiday tips that have helped you to enjoy this time of year? Please leave a comment and share them with the other moms reading this article!

And don’t forget to visit the other Carnival of Breastfeeding Posts at the great blogs listed below (NOTE: this list will be updated throughout the day, so please check back often!):

• Cave Mother: A Mother’s Christmas
• Mama Knows Breast: A Breastfeeding Poem: Twas the Breastfeeder’s Nighttime
• Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Don’t Forget the Pump!
• Blisstree.com’s Breastfeeding 1-2-3: Breastfeeding and Dehydration
• Accidental Pharmacist: Motherhood Statement
• Hobo Mama: Breastfeeding and the holidays: How to take care of yourself
• The Adventures of Lactating Girl: Breastfeeding And Holidays
• Happy Bambino: How To Take Care Of Ourselves During The Holidays
• Breastfeeding Mums: Looking After Yourself During the Holidays: 7 Tips for Breastfeeding Mothers
• Motherwear Blog: Taking Care Of Yourself And Your Baby During the Holidays
• Breastfeeding Moms Unite: Caring For A High Needs Baby During The Holidays
• Blacktating: Advice for the Holidays

Next Page »