Have The Best 2010 Possible – Tips For Moms

By Tracy Liebmann

I want you to start living the Life of your dreams! We are all amazing a divine people, who sometimes get off track or loose sight of our souls purpose. I believe every bit of change starts within us and I’d like to draw your focus back to the source that is within you.

2010 can be the first year of the rest of your life!

As Mothers we work hard 24/7…365! We care for others and sometimes forget ourselves. That strategy does not *really* benefit anyone.

“In trying to satisfy all, I may be able to satisfy none” ~Gandhi

So let’s get the focus back on our very important selves this year, it is not selfish to care for self…it is wise and necessary…especially for Mothers!! Let’s explore things we can do for ourselves as a whole divine person; let’s break it down into three very important parts!

Body ~ Mind ~ Spirit

Body

• Rest! Our bodies need a certain amount of rest to function well. I know for Mothers this can be a challenge, yet it needs to be a top priority! Sleep deprivation can have a serious negative impact on how well we are able to care for ourselves and our family!
• No excuses…look for solutions to your sleep issues and get more REST!!
• Diet/Nutrition. Let’s talk diet first, since this is the time of year that everyone thinks about the great new diet plan they will carry out in 2010. I would like to remind you to come from a place of self love when considering dieting. Dieting from a place of self hatred will never end well. You may lose the weight, but it will be back – Love yourself enough to eat well, not from hating your big butt, but from loving yourself!
• Exercise. Getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine, with your heart pumping and your lungs filling with sweet air is very important not only for your waistline but also for your brain. I will say the same thing I said above…Exercise out of love for Self, not from a place of hatred or punishment. Go out with the kids and play kick ball, take a walk or run with the stroller. Enjoy life…Enjoy your body!
• Water. Drink lots of water! That’s all I’m gonna say on that subject, you know why!
• Massage. This is not just a fabulous way to spend a Saturday afternoon. It is actually good for you. It releases toxins, and keeps your body working well from the inside out! Caring for self is a necessity, not a luxury! OK, I just have to say…I don’t care what your husband thinks (gasp)! Do it for yourself, show yourself love and nurturing…your worth it!!

Mind

How do you care for your mind? How do you “clear your head?” Caring for your mental health is *very* important and needs to be done on a daily basis!

• Quiet. Everyday find a way to quiet your mind. I know quiet is a valuable commodity for a Mother! Every valuable commodity is worth seeking right?! It can look different for everyone. Some people take 15 minutes to meditate; others may break their quiet time down to 5 minutes in morning, noon and night. Some may breathe deep, close their eyes and relax while a child is nursing. It’s all good – Find a way to quiet your mind daily!
• Support. Mothers need loving support! Find other Moms that you have a lot in common with; with similar parenting styles and plan weekly meet ups. Hire a Life Coach that has similar philosophy about family and children as you do. However and whereever you can, look for and find loving support. Again that is an act of self care and you are important enough to receive it!
• Ask For Help. We really don’t have to do it all!! We can ask for help. If you are feeling like you have no one to ask…start looking for solutions. Find a babysitter you can trust, hire a cleaning person, even ask the kids and Husband where they would be willing to help.
• Body. If you take good care of your body; getting enough rest, exercise and nutrition your mind will be functioning at its best, so revisit that subject and ask yourself what your mind needs to feel better.

Spirit

To me spirit is about heart and soul; for Mothers this is a very powerful part of the body, mind, and spirit paradigm! Taking good care, listening to and honoring our spirit is extremely important!

• Spirituality. For some this means religion and church going; for others it means we are all connected and one with source and lots of in between! So I am writing this in a general way. Honor your beliefs, even if they are different than others that are close to you. Life is an individual journey that is connected to others for the reasons of love, support and growth. Make time for yourself to honor your beliefs; go to church, join a group, meditate and/or pray. Care for your spiritual side.
• Authentic Self. *Knowing* ourselves at the deepest level and honoring who we are is especially important to feeling our best. If we are not following our inner voice or true selves we will feel unhappy and out of sorts because we are going against our highest good. Often through years of societal conditioning we lose sight of who we really are. We have lost our Authentic (true) Selves. If this is striking a cord for you, and you are feeling like; yes this is what is happening to me. Following the suggestions already mentioned here in this article will help…yet you may also desire some extra support. This is my *passion* to help women find their Authentic Selves, please e-mail me and I can send you more articles and information that will help you uncover what the layers of life have buried.

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her! To receive A Special Tool, Gifts and to be entered in a drawing to win a Coaching Package with Tracy worth over $750! Click here.

Solace In A Shower

As a mom, it is difficult to get a moment to yourself. And as a mom who runs a business, it is especially difficult because even during times that my son is sleeping or playing quietly, I am always working on my business – so getting a moment to myself is nearly impossible these days.

This is how I have found solace in taking a shower. I thought I would share it with you. I have child-proof handles on my doors, so when I go up to take my shower, I know that my son is safe – wherever he is playing. I turn on the hot water and let my mind go blank and enjoy the warm water spraying on my body – washing away all of my stress and taking me to a world that has one moment just for me. The sound of the water is very peaceful and comforting and the warmth travels throughout my entire being. I find there are days when I stay in the comfort of the shower for a long time. And I have to force myself back to reality and the day-to-day activities of my home and my business. Often this reality check comes in the form of a 4-year old who has gotten tired of playing by himself!

We each find a way to find solace in our day – please leave a comment and share your ways for relaxing and taking time for yourself.

Being A Mom During Challenging Times

By Tracy Liebmann

We have all had them, times when we were sick, sad, grieving, angry, anxious, stressed, in pain or truly depressed. How do we handle it all, let’s be real, let’s talk about it! Well, I think those two things I mentioned are crucial to surviving those really challenging times in our lives. Mothers are real people, they have real challenges, they are not super heroes and nor should they be! Accepting ourselves and all that we are including everything, the good, the bad and even the ugly is the key to emotional wellness. Actually I’m not a believer in “the ugly”, I have worked really hard at trying not to label my emotions as “good and Bad” I think all the emotions are wonderful. This is a very helpful tool when working through a challenging time in our lives. Accepting the emotions as they come up and not labeling them. This is a perfect example of how working with ourselves and our emotions will in turn help in every area of our lives. We will be able to accept our children’s emotional ups and downs better, if we accept and understand our own! I am a true believer in an emotionally healthy mom is the best mom she can be and that seems to be what I hear the most…mom’s want to be at their best for their kids!

As I said earlier, talking about it is also an important tool during difficult times. I know it is not always easy to talk about the most challenging stuff in our lives and for some personalities it is even harder…but everyone has at least one person they can be totally honest with. Call that trusted person, meet them for lunch or at the park, get together and share your true self.

Honestly I’ve been there, done that and survived.

Often people worry if they take the cork off the bottle and let it all out, they will fall apart, they won’t be able to pull it back together. I have never seen this to be true. It always helps to let the steam out of that simmering pot, share, be validated and move forward!

During Challenging Times…

1. Go within and locate what is truly bothering you
2. Accept what ever emotion or thought that comes forward
3. Confide in that trusted person or group of people
4. See or talk to a trusted professional
5. Be honest with yourself and your family about what is going on with you
6. Yes, this includes our children. Being honest with our children models acceptance of self, models that no one is “perfect”, models that emotions are healthy and good, models good self care…what great “lessons”
7. Take it easy, don’t force yourself to “pull yourself up by your boot straps”
8. LOVE YOURSELF, YOU ARE LOVABLE!

If you or anyone you know is going through a challenging time right now and would like some extra support, remember that Tracy offers one FREE coaching session.
Please forward this to anyone you think may benefit!

You can also talk with Tracy through her Parenting Advice Blog

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her!

It’s OKAY To Cry – You Just Had A Baby!

Recently a new mom that I follow on Twitter was sharing her feelings of desperation. Now keep in mind her baby is just 3 days old and it was her first night home from the hospital. Of course she was tired, scared, emotional, teary eyed, etc – She JUST had a baby!

All to often we, as mothers, put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Have the perfectly cleaned home, dinner on the table by 5pm every night, laundry put away, kids cleaned and well entertained, and so much more that we miss the bigger picture. It is OKAY to cry and melt down every once and a while. We are human.

I wanted to share a little of what I told her and would love for you to share your thoughts and feelings about your first week home from the hospital.

Don’t feel guilty about others helping you out – you just had a baby. Your hormones are raging and you need rest, liquids and love. Accept the love and don’t feel guilty. Let your husband help with your son!

Take care of yourself! You just went through child birth – you need to rest and recover. A few weeks of you being less involved with your eldest son won’t hurt him. He loves you and knows you are there for him and once you recover, you will be able to be there for him more. But if you don’t take care of yourself now, it will only make it harder as time goes on and you will end up with longer periods of time before you can spend adequate time with him.

Don’t worry that your baby isn’t getting enough breastmilk. Even though you are sore, she is getting milk. It can be difficult to tell if she is having wet diapers because babies only urinate a small amount in the early days. Put a small square of toilet paper inside of her diaper so that you can tell when she has wet. As long as she is having 4-5 wet diapers per day, then she is getting plenty of your milk. Try to keep in mind that her wet diaper is not going to be huge and heavy like your son’s. It will barely have any weight to it. As long as that piece of tissue is damp, then there are no worries!

All too often new moms try to do it all. It’s hard to stop and ask for help. When help is offered we also too often just respond with “I’m fine,” as it’s easier then saying what really going on in your head – “Lord, Help me. I’m going nuts. I’m a complete basket case and all I want is a SHOWER and just one hour of peace and quiet!!” So take a moment to step back and just breath. Accept help when it is offered and make sure you talk to someone to let them know how you are feeling.

We All Have It, But Do We Admit It?

Yes, I have mommy brain. So many of us have it, but do we admit it.  Some of us admit it and harness the mommy brain as an ‘excuse’ for our daily oops. Here are just a couple of ‘oops’ that stand out in my memory.

I had a speeding ticket trial.  I was going to plead not guilty.  I had
all of the paperwork in my car for weeks so that I wouldn’t forget to bring
anything with me when it came time to go.  I even had saved some work to do
“off-line” so that I could be productive while waiting my turn at the court
house.  The courthouse was near my son’s preschool, so I planned to drop him
off, then go to court, then be done in time to pick him up.  Well, I dropped
him off at school, went home did a bunch of work, left to go pick him up
from school and realized “OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT MY TRIAL”  I almost died!
How does one forget about a speeding ticket trial!!  And what do I tell the
judge??  That I have “new mommy brain” – because that is really what it is.
My follow-up trial is coming up this month – let’s hope I remember to go!!

So that’s a huge oops of my mommy brain. It just didn’t hit me this one time though, it also happened to me at work regularly and I even had a email system in place to help prevent it as well.

When I was at work after my son was born, I would have to send myself
emails so that I would remember conversations that I had with people.  One
time I was in a meeting and they were discussing something that I was
supposed to have given feedback on.  I raised my hand and said “I don’t
think I have seen this yet.  Can you send it to me to review so that I can
give you my feedback?”  And they said “Judy, you already sent us your
feedback”.  I LITERALLY had NO RECOLLECTION of ever seeing the items! It was
pretty scary!  And it really made me second guess myself at work because I
was never sure if I had done something or seen something without first
checking my email history.

So there you have it! Two of the most recalling mommy brain stories that I have.  So if you shared these stories or the fact that you have mommy brain with friends, co-workers, etc what would they tell you?  I’m sure if you are like me you have heard more than one time that you just need to “deal with it”.  So how do you “deal” with mommy brain. Well, you could set up a email memory like I did for myself at work or you can check out The Mommy Brain by Katherine Elllison.  Katherine lets us know how as mothers we are actually smarter and our mommy brain is a good thing.

So tell me, what is your favorite “mommy brain” story?

Ask Judy

As a mom and advocate of breastfeeding I’m always looking out for great tips and ready to answer questions- So let me just open things up and say

ASK ME!

Really it’s okay- no question is ’stupid’ and I welcome them. I also love to hear some great tips! So please take a moment and fill out the contact form and I will either contact you directly or will feature your question or tip here on the site so that all can benefit.

Local Support Is Essential For Any New Mom

If you decide to breast or bottle feed, work or stay home, or a combo of everything- You need a support system that understand you and can help when you have questions.

Two places that you can check out for a group local to you are La Leche League International or MOPS.

La Leche League is more than just a breastfeeding support group. The group local to the Pittsburgh Airport has always been there for mom for more than just soreness. They have a lending library with books from everything on the art of breastfeeding to babywearing and the ever popular to vax or not to vax debate.  You can call any of the leaders- they are patient and understanding as you describe any problem you may be having- even if you were too afraid to call the doctor first they can listen and answer with personal experience. They are not doctors but personally I’d rather a fellow mom’s advice over a 90 year old man who’s never personally experienced engorged breasts!

The other group I mentioned is Mothers of Preschoolers aka MOPS. What a wonderful way to get out of the house and be around other moms of youngsters that are currently or have recently been in the same situations as you. At the mall with your toddler and baby and no matter how many times you ask he does not have to go potty- until you are half a mile away from a restroom and in a dressing room nakked! You know how it is and if your oldest is still just an infant well you will soon know!

Are you currently or a previous member of one of these great groups?
What was it like for you?
Are you still friends with the mothers now that your children are grown and have minds of their own?