Recently a new mom that I follow on Twitter was sharing her feelings of desperation. Now keep in mind her baby is just 3 days old and it was her first night home from the hospital. Of course she was tired, scared, emotional, teary eyed, etc – She JUST had a baby!
All to often we, as mothers, put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Have the perfectly cleaned home, dinner on the table by 5pm every night, laundry put away, kids cleaned and well entertained, and so much more that we miss the bigger picture. It is OKAY to cry and melt down every once and a while. We are human.
I wanted to share a little of what I told her and would love for you to share your thoughts and feelings about your first week home from the hospital.
Don’t feel guilty about others helping you out – you just had a baby. Your hormones are raging and you need rest, liquids and love. Accept the love and don’t feel guilty. Let your husband help with your son!
Take care of yourself! You just went through child birth – you need to rest and recover. A few weeks of you being less involved with your eldest son won’t hurt him. He loves you and knows you are there for him and once you recover, you will be able to be there for him more. But if you don’t take care of yourself now, it will only make it harder as time goes on and you will end up with longer periods of time before you can spend adequate time with him.
Don’t worry that your baby isn’t getting enough breastmilk. Even though you are sore, she is getting milk. It can be difficult to tell if she is having wet diapers because babies only urinate a small amount in the early days. Put a small square of toilet paper inside of her diaper so that you can tell when she has wet. As long as she is having 4-5 wet diapers per day, then she is getting plenty of your milk. Try to keep in mind that her wet diaper is not going to be huge and heavy like your son’s. It will barely have any weight to it. As long as that piece of tissue is damp, then there are no worries!
All too often new moms try to do it all. It’s hard to stop and ask for help. When help is offered we also too often just respond with “I’m fine,” as it’s easier then saying what really going on in your head – “Lord, Help me. I’m going nuts. I’m a complete basket case and all I want is a SHOWER and just one hour of peace and quiet!!” So take a moment to step back and just breath. Accept help when it is offered and make sure you talk to someone to let them know how you are feeling.