Why Short Cat-Naps Are Not Good Enough

If your child’s naps are shorter than an hour and a half in length, you may have wondered if these brief naps provide enough rest for your little one. You might suspect that these catnaps aren’t meeting your child’s sleep needs – and you would be right. The science of sleep explains why a short nap takes the edge off, but doesn’t offer the same physical and mental nourishment that a longer nap provides.

It takes between 90 and 120 minutes for your child to move through one entire sleep cycle, resulting in a Perfect Nap. It has been discovered that each stage of sleep brings a different benefit to the sleeper. Imagine, if you will, magic gifts that are awarded at each new stage of sleep:

Stage 1 – Very light sleep

Lasts 5 to 15 minutes

The gifts:

Prepares body for sleep

Reduces feelings of sleepiness

Stage 2 – Light to moderate sleep

Lasts up 15 minutes

The gifts:

Increases alertness

Improves motor skills

Stabilizes mood

Slightly reduces homeostatic sleep pressure
(The biological process that creates fatigue and irritability.)

Stage 3 – Deep sleep

Lasts up to 15 minutes

The gifts:

Strengthens memory

Release of growth hormone

Repair of bones, tissues and muscles

Fortification of immune system

Regulates appetite

Releases bottled up stress

Restores energy

Reduces homeostatic sleep pressure

Stage 4 – Deepest sleep

Lasts up to 15 minutes

The gifts:

Same benefits as Stage 3, but enhanced

Next Stage – Dreaming

Lasts up to 9 to 30 minutes

The gifts:

Transfers short-term memory into long-term memory

Organizes thoughts

Secures new learning

Enhances brain connections

Sharpens visual and perceptual skills

Processes emotions

Relieves stress

Inspires creativity

Boosts energy

Reduces homeostatic sleep pressure

Longer naps

For as long as your child sleeps

The gifts:

Repeat all of the above stages in cycles

In order for your child to receive all of these wonderful gifts he must sleep long enough to pass at least once through each stage of sleep. Longer naps will encompass additional sleep cycles and provide a continuous presentation of gifts.

Newborn babies have unique cycles that slowly mature over time. A newborn sleep cycle is about 40 to 60 minutes long, and an infant enters dream sleep quickly, skipping several sleep stages. Infants need several sleep cycles to receive their full allotment of gifts. If your infant is sleeping only 40-60 minutes at naptime it is an indication that your baby is waking between cycles instead of returning to sleep on his own. We’ll cover a plethora of ideas to help your baby learn to go back to sleep without your intervention.

Now you can clearly see why a short nap doesn’t provide your baby or young child the best benefits of napping. You can also see why a mini-nap can fool you into thinking it is enough – since the very first five to fifteen minutes reduce feelings of sleepiness and bring that whoosh of second-wind energy that dissipates quickly, resulting is fussiness, crying, crankiness, tantrums and whining.

This is a copyrighted excerpt from The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, December 2008).

Elizabeth Pantley is a mother, author, and parenting educator. Her books and parenting advice are frequently featured in magazines such as Parents, Parenting, American Baby, and Good Housekeeping. The following books are authored or co-authored by Elizabeth and recommended by A Mother’s Boutique: The No-Cry Discipline Solution, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers, The No-Cry Potty Training Solution, Gentle Baby Care, Hidden Messages, Perfect Parenting, Kid Cooperation, and The Successful Child.

When Your Child Needs A Nap But Won’t Take One

Daytime naps might last just a few short hours, but they can affect all twenty-four hours of a child’s day. Naps can improve a child’s mood and reduce fussiness, crying, whining, and tantrums. Studies show that children who nap daily get sick less often, grow taller, and are less likely to be obese when they grow up. Naps enhance attention span and brain development. Naps can also help make up for any shortage in nighttime sleep. Even a one hour shortage in overall sleep hours can have a negative effect on a child – compromising alertness and brain function, and increasing fussiness and fatigue.

There are many ideas for helping a child to take a nap, but the best idea in the world may not work for you if the solution doesn’t address the reason that your child won’t nap. There is not just one reason that babies and young children refuse to nap – there are hundreds of different reasons. Before you decide on a solution you need to understand your child’s motivation. Once you figure out the cause of your child’s “nonnappingness” you can put together a plan to overcome her resistance. Here are a few typical reasons kids won’t nap – and suggestions to solve each problem:

Problem: Has outgrown the current nap schedule

Solutions: Think about any changes in your child’s life, growth or development. Has he learned to crawl, begun to eat solid food or started daycare? Any change can also affect sleep patterns. Watch your child for signs of tiredness between naps and adjust your schedule to meet his new needs.

Problem: Nap schedule doesn’t match your child’s biological clock

Solutions: Naptime, bedtime, mealtime, exposure to light and darkness, and activity all can affect your child’s biological clock. Look at your child’s schedule to be sure these things occur at reasonable times every day. The improper order of things (such as active, brightly lit playtime just before bed) can affect your child’s rhythm.

Problem: Nap schedule isn’t consistent from day to day

Solutions: If on weekdays nap times, bedtime and wakeup time are specific, but on weekends they’re hit and miss, then your child will be functioning with a constant bout of jetlag. Other inconsistencies can also affect this, such as when your child naps at a certain time at daycare, but a different time at home, or if he takes a nice long nap on days when you are at home but takes a short one in the car (or skips a nap entirely) when you are on the go. Set up a possible nap schedule for your child and do your best to stay within a half hour of the nap times that you have set up.

Read more

The No-Cry Nap Solution

If you have been reading Mommy News Blog in the past months, you know that one of our favorite guest writers is Elizabeth Pantley. Elizabeth is a raved author, educator, speaker and most importantly a mother of four. She understands the frustration that parents go through- including the daily fights to get your little one to have a relaxing and restful nap.

It’s not just baby and toddler (and preschooler) that needs those quiet moments in the afternoon, but mom and dad too. If you are anything like me when nap time comes around- I’m MORE than ready. I need those moments of peace just as much as he does. Time to turn the brain off and just take a few minutes to myself. Of course those minutes can get chopped down here and there when I’m constantly having to go to his room and quiet him.

So if you are doing the “it’s time to take a nap” routine every day and making naptime a time of dread for both mom and child- then I suggest you grab a copy of Elizabeth’s new book The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems from Amazon or your local public or mommy group library.

Have you read this book?
How has Elizabeth’s tips and views on naps helped you with your little ones?
I’d love to know what your nap ‘rituals’ are in your household!

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Tantrums, Fussing, and Whinning…Oh My!

If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors – every parent has to deal with them!

Controlling their emotions
Most often these behaviors are caused by a child’s inability to express or control his emotions. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. When your child begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Solve that problem and you’ll likely have your sweet child back again.

Handling tantrums, fussing and whining
No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results.

Offer choices
You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. You can do this by offering choices. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, “What would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” Children who are busy deciding things are often happy.

Get eye-to-eye
When you make a request from a distance your child will likely ignore you. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums – from both of you. Instead, get down to your child’s level, look him in the eye and make clear, concise requests. This will catch his full attention.

Tell him what you DO want
Instead of focusing on misbehavior and what you don’t want him to do, explain exactly what you’d like your child to do or say instead. Give him simple instructions to follow.

Validate his feelings
Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, “You’re sad. You want to stay here and play. I know.” This doesn’t mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down.

Teach the Quiet Bunny
When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. You can teach your child how to relax and then use this approach when fussing begins.

You can start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session. Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he’s a quiet bunny. Name body parts (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle it, and then relax it.

Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child’s level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let’s do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.

Distract and involve
Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an “activity” that your child is engaged in. Since children aren’t very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.

Invoke his imagination
If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: “I bet you wish we could buy every single toy in this store.” This can become a fun game.

Use the preventive approach
Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don’t want) and be specific.

When it’s over, it’s over
After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don’t feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley

Elizabeth Pantley is a mother, author, and parenting educator. Her books and parenting advice are frequently featured in magazines such as Parents, Parenting, American Baby, and Good Housekeeping.  The following books are authored or co-authored by Elizabeth and recommended by A Mother’s Boutique: The No-Cry Discipline Solution, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers, The No-Cry Potty Training Solution, Gentle Baby Care, Hidden Messages, Perfect Parenting, Kid Cooperation, and The Successful Child.