Growing Up Human

By Tracy Liebmann

Lately, my son and I have just been devouring the Growing Up series on Animal Planet! It is a series of shows about different animals that were usually injured or orphaned, and how they are taken care of. Whenever we watch a primate such as a baboon, monkey or gorilla, I am amazed at how human-like they are and how their caregivers are so gentle, patient and caring with them. The caregivers of these wonderful animals are totally accepting of the animals’ true nature, their instincts.

It has made me wonder… are we that accepting of our children? Are we accepting of their true nature, their instincts?

I think with animals it is easier for us humans to freely accept their behavior, to accept that they are being who they are meant to be. Yet, within our own human families we tend to have judgments that people should behave a certain way. We as humans have really gotten confused about what our true nature is. Over time we have lost sight of who we are as a species. Why has this happened? Well you could write a Ph.D. thesis on the subject, and I am NOT going to even attempt that! What I believe, is that we have become conditioned to not follow our hearts, to not follow our bliss. When you first kiss your newborn baby, you *know* what to do- put it to the breast, cuddle, keep her warm… then all the experts come in with their advice to do it this way or that way; don’t do this or that. The experts can come in all shapes and sizes: anyone from well meaning friends and family to doctors and specialists. I think because we are human, we have produced these specialists to ease our underlying fear of not knowing the way. I believe that fear was instilled in us through school, parents and even our bosses as adults.

It takes much work for many of us to find our true authentic selves as adults, and it’s worth it!

Some people may consider me one of those experts. What I try to remember is what my message is – to always follow your heart, follow your bliss and if I can help you to find that again I am fortunate to do so! I am human, and I went through all the same struggles with following my heart vs. listening to the experts. As a young mother I did what the doctors suggested, check-ups, shots, discipline…if I had a baby today I would do things differently. Not to say I wouldn’t consider their recommendations, I would, but I wouldn’t trust them blindly. What I’m saying is because I am human I can think and rationalize; I can learn from my mistakes, I can go on more than just instincts. I am a complex human being, who can trust her instincts or trust the experts…animals only have their instincts.

What separates us from animals is we can think, feel, dream and love…we have the ability to evolve emotionally and intellectually. It’s our choice whether or not we do so! You can choose to start your evolution today by setting up a FREE coaching session!

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her!

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Family Harmony – For A Healthy Body, Mind And Spirit

By Tracy Liebmann

I believe the simple principles of family harmony are three fold, when you look at your family you must look at three key elements, body, mind, and spirit. A healthy family is like a healthy body, the system works together, almost effortlessly. The brain is functioning, the heart pumps, the lungs breathe and the body moves. In our families if every person’s needs are being meet the family will be functioning well and in harmony with one another. It is important to check in with the three key elements to help the family work well together.

What are the needs for the body, mind and spirit of each family member?

Every human being is made up differently and everyone has different needs for food, sleep, quiet time, exercise, social interaction, spirituality and many other components that you will need to look at specifically for your family. I think one sure way of disrupting family harmony is when the adults in the family are deciding what everyone’s needs are around what they need.

I believe this is a common problem in today’s culture, not taking children’s needs as seriously as our own.

The official definition for harmony in the Webster’s dictionary has to do with musical sounds which do not clash or has an agreeable effect. My interpretation of this in regards to our families is very similar; it is a just rightness in our families, it is a sense of inner peace that is flowing through all of us. We do not clash and we have an agreeable effect, of course this is true most of the time not all of the time, this is real life not the Hollywood version! Feeling a sense of disharmony often comes up in my coaching practice and the places families tend to get out of balance tend to be around getting out of the house, food and bed time. Why do you think that is? Well, in my experience it is often due to expectations, like being on time or kids should be in bed by 9 PM, or unreasonable demands like eat all your vegetables or a 4 year old take a bath, brush his teeth and get into PJ’s without assistance.

If you are feeling like you want more harmony in your home choose one thing to work on at a time. Just be the “watcher” of what is going on that causes the disharmony. Try not to judge or fix the situation just watch, listen and learn from what is going on. Go back to the simple formula of looking for what each person needs to be feeling content and happy in his/her body, mind, and spirit. If getting out the door to go somewhere always ends in some type of drama; whose needs are not being met? Did little Johnny have all the time he needed to transition from what he was doing before you announced “lets go, we are late” or was Sara able to finish her level on her video game and save before you rushed her out the door? These things are very important to our kids, getting there on time is important to us! So we need to look for ways to get things ready and in the car in plenty of time and give the children as much time as they need to be prepared to leave.

That will look different for every family, and once you figure out what everyone needs to accomplish the goal things will run smoother and everyone will be more agreeable.

This is just one example of the daily situations that families are sometimes challenged by, I hope this brief description of family harmony has been helpful to you. Please feel free to sign up for a FREE sample session at my website www.transformingfamily.com if you would like to talk more about a specific situation in your family that you would like to bring more harmony to…I look forward to hearing from you!

Tracy Liebmann is an experienced educator, Certified Family Life Coach, and Author. She believes deeply that great communication is the key to better connection with your loved ones. She mothers her two teenaged children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com or you can get parenting advice with heart at www.asktracy.wordpress.com Tracy is a regular contributor to this blog, so stay tuned for more great parenting articles from her!